Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Iceland volcano = Al Qaeda agent?

We were talking about the "Iceland volcano" (as all the media organisations call it) in class today. Well, okay, I was talking about it. I don't know why, I was supposed to be talking about the nature of Elizabethan and early Stuart government in 16th-17th century England, but if you've been one of my students you'll understand exactly how one of my classes can weave its way around 6000 years of recorded history, pseudo-science and conspiracy theories before eventually getting to where we were meant to be going by the end of the hour.
So, anyway, I couldn't help but wonder how Osama Bin Laden must feel about this volcano. I mean, the guys gets all these terrorists and suicide bombers and hijackers and shoe bombers and tube bombers and drink bottle bombers and stanley knife carriers and what-not over the past decade to attack embassies and airports and navy ships and aeroplanes in mid flight and world trade centre buildings and what have you, and what has all this achieved over all this time? Aircraft have been grounded for what, 12 hours? 18 hours?
This ONE volcano, in ICELAND of all places, lets off a bit of steam and releases an ash cloud, and not only has almost every country in Western Europe indefinitely grounded all air traffic, they've also stopped planes from flying in from other places for almost a week now.
If I were Obama, I'd be pretty pissed off with this volcano being able to do more in a week than I'd achieved in a lifetime. Although, maybe he's not quite sure... maybe the volcano is actually doing his work for him?
After all, look at the name of the volcano - Eyjafjallajokull. Look at the middle of it. The exact middle. Those four letters. ALLA. I wonder if the 'h' has been dropped over time...

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